The Dana Street Saga

Life in Berkeley thirty years ago;
Searching for love and meaning

Sunday, November 4, 1973 - 2:20 PM - Berkeley

Today is a sunny, bright, but chilly, day. Last night was the first winter night we've had, as it cooled off suddenly yesterday from the Indian Summer weather we'd been having.

As I begin this new journal volume, let me review where I am in general before getting down to specific happenings.

Generally speaking, my head is in a pretty good place these days. I'm not depressed, nor am I in a high place.

I've been putting a lot of energy into my housetruck recently, getting it ready for some traveling, to check out other communities in California, as I've gotten sort of tired of Berkeley, which seems to me a "fished-out pond" in some respects.

Having the truck has given me a focus for some creative energy and some satisfaction in getting some things done. But I still have some more things to do before I'm ready to take a maiden voyage.

My love life is still the central aspect of my life. Right now things are unresolved in this area. I'm still somewhat hung-up on Lyndy, though the situation with her is basically hopeless, or at least feels so at this point.

She represents for me the ideal type of girl I'd like to have, if only she were in love with me. But the Lyndy I occasionally see these days is but a shadow of the Lyndy I loved for those brief days in Quogue.

For the last week or so, my major focus has been Jane. We've moved steadily and comfortably closer over the last few days, becoming lovers last night. She's attractive and nice, I like her a lot, but am not sure I'm falling in love with her.

I guess I have basic doubts about whether she's really my type, whether we have enough common interests, and enough excitement about each other to build a really fulfilling relationship. And now with her tied down to a full-time job, and me wanting to go traveling, I'm wondering whether we'll have enough time for each other.

While we were drifting towards a relationship, part of me was saying, "Wait, don't get involved with someone right before you're ready to leave Berkeley. Keep your freedom until you find that right girl who can travel and live with you."

So I have this potential conflict, which remains unresolved. Also there doesn't seem to be a great deal of excitement in the relationship. We've drifted into a relationship without a lot of enthusiasm. Though I like what I know of her, I don't feel that excitement of falling in love.

Also I've met a number of other girls recently, all of whom I like, but none of whom really turns me on. There are Renee, Krista, Susie, Dierdre, Terry, and others in the Pierre's crowd.

Penny and I have have been on good friendly terms recently, but neither of us are ready to get back together.

Eda's visit has dragged out a long time. Though I've enjoyed having her here, for the most part, I think I'll be glad to get my room back to myself when she leaves.

We haven't interacted much recently. She's been heavily involved with Larry, and I guess I'm a bit jealous of him, though I don't see any future in a love relationship between us even if we had one, at least not for the present while she has her liberation trip to go through.

That's about enough generalization for now. Let's get back to the present, or the most recent past.

Yesterday, I worked with Mike on the gas heaters, cutting and threading the pipe we'll need. It was a chilly day, and we finally quit around 4:30 or so.

Jane came over with Arlene after work, and we had dinner together at our house. I cooked some grilled cheese sandwiches.

After dinner, Jane and I retired to my room, as Arlene left for Fairfield to visit her friend, Linda. We played music and talked, sharing a lot of our "stories."

I told her about the scene with Penny, Eda, and me, and its history, as they came over while we were there. Penny left shortly, and Eda got ready to go out, using Arlene's room.

I also told her about Brad, Gail, Drew, and us in Chicago, about Windy, and about Lyndy.

She told me she used to be Curt's girl, and later they drifted apart, and she and his best friend, Dennis, did a trip (in Covelo) 'til he left her for another woman, giving her a heartbreak experience.

There was going to be a party at her old house, where she's crashing now, and we debated whether or not to go, finally deciding not to, and deciding to spend the night together, after going to the New Deli for awhile, which we eventually did.

We sat with Bill and Jennifer at the New Deli, danced a couple of times, and were intruded upon repeatedly by a weirdo name Dionysius.

We finally came home to go to bed around midnight. We did a very relaxed and gradual lovemaking trip, taking a long time to finally get our clothes off and get into bed, then awhile of caressing and kissing before making love, taking a long time at that, before going to sleep.

Jane was quite affectionate and responsive, and it was a good scene.

Later, in the middle of the night, we made love again, after much cuddling and caressing. We started with her legs over me, then gradually turning over so I was behind her, eventually sitting up, then coming around with me on top. It was good, but I never reached a climax.

For awhile, I felt I couldn't get all the way into her. It was too tight. We finally quit, went back to sleep, and slept until eleven before getting up.

We got dressed, had some breakfast together, then I took her home by motorcycle. On the way we stopped at an art show near MacArthur Boulevard in Oakland.

Her cold had gotten worse, so she wanted to go home, bathe, and rest some more, as she has to go to work tomorrow. We said a warm goodbye and felt good with each other.

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Preface

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Cast

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Waxing and Waning
Sneaking Out
Losing Marcy
Very High and Very Low
Anticipation

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