The Dana Street Saga

Life in Berkeley thirty years ago;
Searching for love and meaning

Saturday, May 12, 1973 - 2:05 AM

Notes for morning: dead at first; Elaine, long talk about Meredith; Lynn, telling it like it is; Jenny again; Athena 526-1356, Vinca, Vicki, another offer but lost.

10:30 AM

Reviewing last evening, I went over to visit Cici around 5. She called, had been home from school all day, was feeling lonely.

Played some cards with her for awhile, then left, had a bowl of soup at John's Soup Kitchen, then came home and tried to nap before going out later, but couldn't really sleep.

Dennis, Sheldon, and Arlene also decided to go to Hard Times, so Sheldon and Arlene came with me, while Dennis waited for some friends who were coming from Reno. Sheldon and Dennis had a gig at 2 AM until 6 AM, so they had to leave around midnight.

Anyway, things started off very slowly. I danced with Arlene a couple of times. For a long time, there was no one there who interested me, but it gradually became a lot more crowded. Got some come-on looks from a couple of girls, neither of whom were that interesting to me.

Then Elaine came in by herself. We said hi, talked a few minutes, then danced a few times. She said Meredith had been upstairs, but had gone home, and was planning to go to the beach today. Another twinge of pain for me, as she'd agreed to call me if she hadn't gone away.

Being with Elaine really flashed me back to Meredith, and I asked her if we could talk, so we went upstairs and did talk for about 45 minutes or so.

She told me about her moving out, to Oakland, and a bit about the situation at the house, the tension, the current lack of togetherness, the illusion of a close group, and her need to get away from it and find herself.

I told her about my hurt over Meredith, that I was trying to "forget her," that I'd felt her withdraw from me after being quite close, I thought, from the start.

She put it into perspective by telling me that she feels Meredith is going through a phase now where, after losing Mark Lee, she needs to prove to herself that she's attractive, can get men, and that she's opened up to more situations than she can deal with.

I told her a lot about my background, past, and recent past, that I've seemed to run into this type of situation over and over.

She also told me that Meredith had just told her that the only people she feels close to now are Hugo and Leslie (I think), and that evidently her moving out is a heavy trip for Meredith that parallels Mark Lee's leaving.

Anyway, it was a good talk. I was open about where I was, and gained some understanding of the situation in the process.

While sitting upstairs with Elaine, Lynn P came in, and we said hi. Elaine left shortly after this, and I talked to Lynn for awhile.

She asked how I'd been, and I said, "Up and down."

She said, "Me too," and we got talking about falling in love, which she said she does often as well, and had over the last two weeks also.

I also leveled with her about where I was with her, wasn't falling in love, liked her, was excited and intrigued, but felt we didn't have much in common. We established a pretty good "out front" relationship.

Also saw Jenny, but she was with another guy. Said hi to her a couple of times, but she wasn't overly responsive.

A group of people sat at our table, and I talked to them a couple of times, eventually yielding the table to them.

One was a cute girl, who eyed me from time to time while we were dancing. So when we were leaving I asked her name. It was Vicki, and I told her mine, but we didn't really have the opportunity for more, as she was with another guy. I think she dug me though, and I'd like to see her again.

Then there was a girl named Vinca, who I thought had been eyeing me earlier, but who wasn't all that responsive when I talked to her.

And finally, there was Athena, whom I danced with a couple of times at the end, got her phone number, and talked with a bit. She's working at the A&W in El Sobrante, and lives in El Cerrito. I liked her pretty well, and she's small and cute.

Also, earlier, when I was talking with Lynn, a couple of girls left whom I'd seen earlier. They were big and lusty types, not all that attractive to me, but exciting, and one gave me a pat or squeeze as they went by. I think it may have been Hella and Fifi.

I said, "Excuse me" to Lynn, followed them out, but they disappeared too fast. I have good fantasies about what that could have led to.

But at closing time, I was left alone, and came home by myself, but after having an interesting evening at any rate.

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