The Dana Street Saga

Life in Berkeley thirty years ago;
Searching for love and meaning

Sunday, June 17, 1973 - 2:30 PM

How can I begin to describe the wondrous things that have happened? I'll just have to start from the beginning.

We started drinking the punch around 8:30 or so, and it was very potent, so that we were all quite drunk before too long. Until about 9:30 there was hardly anyone here except us and a few guests, and most of us were hanging out in the kitchen.

Then Karen and Yvonne, Jan's friends, arrived, so I sat with them, and gave them a tour of the house. Otherwise, the party was just barely making it. Jan and another bunch were expected at any moment, but never showed up.

Anyway, Karen and I had some good raps, and danced some, as gradually people got into dancing. Also, I danced with Wendy a couple of times at first.

Karen (my other new friend) had called earlier, and invited me to come over to her party for a little while, around 9:30 or 10. But by 10, I realized I couldn't get away (and was in no condition to), so I called her to say so. It was cool, and her vibes were warm towards me.

And I called her back later, to see how things were with her. But by this time I was completely wiped out, and told her so. She was glad I called, however, and said, "What a lover you are."

Finally, Karen and Yvonne had to split. I thanked them for coming, for bringing some life to our party. By this time it was 12:30 or 1 AM.

Then most of the other guests were gone as well, and us few leftovers went up to Arlene's room, where I decided to have some of her acid punch, as did Dennis, who'd had some already, Arlene, likewise, and Wendy. And then Andy came up, but I don't know if he had any of the punch.

At one point, Wendy and I were holding hands meaningfully, and Andy had split. Finally, Arlene kicked us out, as we were the last two people there.

So there we were, in the upstairs hall alone together, both tripping out on acid. I asked her where she'd like to be or go, and she said, "Right here, with you," or something to that effect.

So we stumbled into my room, first just crashing on the bed together with all our clothes on, then hugging, kissing, and caressing. And soon, after deciding we were going to sleep together, we said, "Let's do it right," and we undressed ourselves, and got back into bed together.

I was too tripped out to keep an erection for long, but we were into easygoing lovemaking for the rest of the night, but without either of us, I think, ever reaching a climax.

I felt incredibly close to Wendy, and she to me, I'm sure, and we both stayed conscious, not going to sleep, but giving each other our full loving attention the whole night through.

Soon we saw the sky begin to lighten in the east, and we got into watching and grooving on the day breaking. It was super quiet and we listened. The wind began to give us the slightest breeze, and to rock some of the windows a little.

We heard Pat getting up at 6, and soon afterwards, we both made excursions to the bathroom, then back to each other.

It was such an intense feeling of togetherness, such an incredibly beautiful feeling, savoring each other as man and woman, and as two people with a deep bond with each other.

Gradually, the outside world encroached on our idyllic bliss, as people woke up, and city noises began. At 9, Wendy called her friend, who was to pick her up at 10 at her house, to tell her to come here instead. She had to go to Walnut Creek today, for Father's Day, then would be splitting for Greenville, where her camp is, tomorrow.

At one point I told her, "I love you," and meant it. I felt that with her, she could always find me if she wanted me. That I'd always be open to her. I felt so high, so lucky, so blessed by grace at having her with me, that I just kept grooving on her, whispering, "Wendy," from time to time, saying, "Hi," communicating, keeping the channel between us wide open.

9:30 finally came, and we got dressed, hugged our last hug, and went downstairs, she to gather her guitar and other things, which were in Andy's room.

Pat was in the kitchen when we went down. She asked how I was, and I said, "Super fine."

Wendy went out to Andy's room to get her things, but Andy was hard to deal with. He laid a "bad girl trip" on her, and wouldn't talk to her. She wasn't sure how to react.

This brought a black cloud over our otherwise blue sky, and made things heavy for awhile. But as she left, he did go out and make it better to some degree, by saying a warm goodbye.

Anyway, I feel incredibly close to her on some level, like we'll always be there for each other, but other than that feeling, it's unclear how we might be together in the future, as friends or lovers. She said she'd write me, so I'll just wait and see how things develop.

I told her, "We share a million secrets." I said I'd never had a night like this, and probably never would again. I told her, "Sometime, we'll really make love." Everything seemed so high and full of grace.

6:45 PM

I've been pretty spaced out all day. Last night's high time with Wendy is counterpoised against a mild tension in the household, mostly around Andy (or perhaps I'm projecting), and also against the tragedy that happened at Rikki's house, in which Penny and Cici are so much involved. The contrast between the idyllic beauty of the scene with Wendy and the stark senseless tragedy of the other is hard to reconcile.

Remembering more of last night: We called it "magic," what was happening with us, and it was. So fine.

Today I called Karen's office, but she'd left early, so I called her home and talked with her. She has a dinner party to go to tonight, but suggested we get together tomorrow, as it's her day off. So I'll call after noon.

9:15 PM

Didn't eat any dinner today. Wasn't into eating, wanted to fast a bit. Did have some canned pears, though.

Called Tony. They hadn't made the party because they'd had a big dinner and hadn't been into going anywhere, plus, they didn't have anyone to stay with Natalie.

At sunset, I decided to go up Panoramic Way to see the sunset. Since I'd seen the day begin with Wendy, I wanted to watch it end as well, somewhere I could be alone with my thoughts of her. So I sat up on a hillside amongst wild flowers and the occasional sounds of birds, just as we'd heard in the quiet of morning and approaching dawn, and thought of Wendy, being with her if I could.

Then I came home, smoked a joint, played Rod Stewart ("Maggie May", "Mandolin Wind," etc.) and thought more of Wendy.

I was just flashing on when we were hugging this morning, just prior to leaving the room, and I told her, "I hope you feel loved."

She said, "What a nice thing to say. I hope you feel loved too."

I did. I felt blessed with grace. I felt like a god in paradise.

Now I'm about to go to bed.

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Waxing and Waning
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Losing Marcy
Very High and Very Low
Anticipation

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