The Dana Street Saga

Life in Berkeley thirty years ago;
Searching for love and meaning

Wednesday, May 1, 1974 - 9:15 AM

Went back up to Cici's house, where Cici and I watched TV, and talked.

While I was there, Kathy called me again. We talked for quite awhile. She wanted to meet me today instead of tomorrow, will call about noon or 1, when she can get away from her moving trip with Mike. She said Bob's going to be working until 6:30 today.

So I told her I'd put off working on my motorcycle 'til tomorrow, and could pick her up in the VW bus.

We just chatted about this and that, and she said she felt better after talking to me. She said Bob has been dumping on her a lot recently, and bringing her down. Also, she said she was glad I was at the other house, as she was feeling funny about calling my house so much.

But I told her she shouldn't worry, that in all probability, someone different would answer each time.

Got stoned while watching TV. Went to bed around 11.

Didn't sleep very well, though better than the night before.

Lay in bed this morning thinking about Kathy, about seeing her today, and was feeling aroused and excited about the idea.

2:25 PM

Got up this morning, called the water company, and argued with the guy about getting the water turned on. I put the service in my name, and he agreed to turn it on.

Then I drove down here to my house, took a bath, had breakfast, and hung around my room awhile.

Kathy called around 11. She said maybe I'd better go ahead and work on my motorcycle today, as the moving project was going to take awhile. But maybe she'd come over later, around 4 or so, if she could.

I said fine, and thanked her for calling.

So I got out the motorcycle and started working on it. Found that the clutch seemed to be working after all, the problem was in the shift pedal linkage. So I got that fixed after awhile, and got it running. Finished about 1 o'clock.

Cleaned up, and took a walk up to campus and back. It had been cloudy all morning, but had cleared up. Said hi to Deertree, John, and Vicky at the shop. Then went up and played some pinball.

Had a message from Elizabeth. Called her. She had a message for Marcy, so I called her. One of Marcy's girlfriends said she'd call back in half an hour. Don't know what she was into.

So I'm just laying around, waiting for calls.

Thursday, May 2, 1974 - 9:15 AM

I finally called Marcy's house again at 3:15, as she hadn't called back. Bob answered. Marcy was asleep. They were all crashing out, as they'd been up all night.

So I told Bob the situation, and he gave the go ahead (regarding a deal with Elizabeth). So I called Elizabeth, and she said she'd drop it by later.

Bob called back later, wondered if they could pick it up that evening.

I suggested they all come up to Penny's house later, to try it, and socialize awhile.

Kathy called around 4:30. The moving project was taking more energy and time than she'd anticipated, so it didn't look like she'd make it over at all. She was sad about that.

I told her not to worry, that we'd get a chance one of these days.

She said maybe today or Friday. She has a doctor's appointment at noon today, and will call about 1 or so, if she can. But Bob may be driving her, as he won't be working today. She also said maybe Friday we could get together.

I told her I liked her calling me, and was looking forward to seeing her again.

Finally I went up to Cici's around 6, stopping for some groceries and some wine on the way. I was looking forward to socializing later with Marcy, Bob, and Marcy's friends.

Cooked some dinner for Cici and me. Then we talked, and watched some TV.

Called Marcy's about 9. Bob answered, was getting ready to come up. He put Marcy on the phone, so I finally got to talk to her.

She'd been in bed all day, didn't feel up to getting up. They'd been up all night, did some heavy drugs, she didn't say what, and she felt pretty bad, with a sore throat and feeling sick. So she wouldn't be coming over, but Bob would.

I was disappointed, but could understand, of course.

Started watching WWII at 9. Bob arrived a bit later, so we had some wine, smoked some hash, and watched WWII, which was about the German occupation of Holland, which was very heavy. We were both moved by it.

Then he stayed to watch the news. We had a good time together, having some good raps, sharing some experiences.

Marcy called at one point.

I answered.

All she said to me was, "Hi Ralph, can I speak to Bob?"

I said, "Sure," gave him the phone, but noticed a twinge of hurt that she had nothing more to say to me. But it passed quickly, and I could understand the situation, and not take it personally.

Bob left around 11. Marcy will presumably be in touch with me today about the money for Elizabeth.

I went to bed. Slept okay. It was quite cold this morning.

I lay in bed, thinking alternatively of Marcy and Kathy, feeling good about the situation with Kathy.

I like a lot about her, though I have some reservations about whether our trips are really compatible. But I dig her body, her looks, her feelings toward me, and the way she responds to me.

She seems to be a feeling person like me, into her emotions, and may give the kind of love that I like. If so, I'm sure I could love her too, though there are parts of her I'm somewhat critical of at this time, and she seems fairly immature.

We'll just have to see how things develop. But given the tricky situation, I shouldn't let myself get any expectations.

Thinking of Marcy, I was sure missing her, wishing she would call me once in awhile, remembering that last time she called me a week ago Wednesday.

But I'm having to accept that this just isn't her way, that no amount of persuasion will change her, that I'll just have to get along on what contact naturally comes, but still wishing she'd love me better.

Also, I was feeling consoled by having Kathy, who seems to want me, which compensates a bit for Marcy's lack of attention.

It flashes me back to the time in Chicago when I felt, "Thank God I have Windy," when I wasn't able to feel Gail's (and Brad's) love or care, though it's not that heavy now.

In fact, I still feel pretty good about Marcy, despite her lack of attention to me, feel that things are at a good place with us, and there's no need for concern. But I am glad I have Kathy to fill some of the gap.

Today started out cold, but is sunny now, so it could warm up.

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Preface

Beginning

Cast

Latest Entries:
Waxing and Waning
Sneaking Out
Losing Marcy
Very High and Very Low
Anticipation

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May 1974

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