The Dana Street Saga

Life in Berkeley thirty years ago;
Searching for love and meaning

Monday, March 26, 1973 - 9:30 AM

Had some dreams last night, but can only remember fragments. A general theme was a sailing trip to Peru. An early scene was a deserted run-down cabin on an open piece of land near the water. We were exploring. All that was there was an antique bench with a map rolled up in the back, the kind you pull out and snaps back. While we were there, the phone rang, and I answered. The call was a kind of joke, but the caller wondered what I was doing there. Evidently the owner was in Peru or something.

In a later scene, I am on a landing in my Washington house. A beautiful blonde girl (I don't know her) embraces me, and I embrace her. She tells me "thanks," that my dreams have helped her a great deal. I'm surprised, but feel very good with her.

In a later scene, I'm on a sailing yacht, we are going to Peru. I think there's about six of us. At one point I think we're going to collide, and I look to see who's steering, but somebody else is, and we make it okay after a close call. We come to an island intersection, that we have to go three quarters of the way around. There's another boat with us for awhile, and evidently we're sticking together as an expedition. That's about all. It's pretty vague.

Tuesday, March 27, 1973 - 9:50 AM

Yesterday became an interesting day. After breakfast, some people in the house had planned a trip over to a beach. Pat, Andy, and Mike were going. Pat said she'd assumed I was coming when I asked what was happening, and they invited me along too, so I canceled my doctor's appointment and went.

We went to a beach in San Francisco, after going through Golden Gate Park. At the beach, the scene seemed a bit strange. I was flashed back to Gail, and her wandering off alone. Pat wandered off up the beach by herself, and none of us went after her. We were each sort of off by ourselves for awhile. It occurred to me that all three of us were in love with Pat in one way or another, but all three find ourselves unable to really be with her in the way we would each like.

Anyway, she came back after awhile. I joined her for awhile, and finally we all got together, clowning around and taking pictures of each other with Andy's camera.

Then we drove up to a Safeway, got a bunch of food and beer, and went to Golden Gate Park, where we fed apples to the buffalo and had a picnic up in a grove. It was nice.

Then we went to the Exploratorium, but found it was closed, and after wandering around there awhile, came on home by about 4. 'Twas a nice, pleasant time.

Last night I was invited over to Karen and Marsh's for dinner. Got there around 6, which was much too early. Rode Scott down to see someone, then get some wine.

Rapped a bit with Karen, while she prepared dinner. She told me Steve and Cindy had split up (pretty much), and that she was making her own circle of friends. Also that Maria (her other sister) was pregnant, and wanted to keep the baby.

Also she talked with Rachel and me about the things happening in the house. Carol and her husband are in the process of splitting up, and it's heavy for everyone. Doug wants to get them involved in a restaurant on Solano and there are varying degrees of hesitance.

We finally had dinner around 9 or so. I found myself attracted to Sara (Doug's old lady), as well as Carol, not to mention Karen, whom I've always thought was "outasite." I was also pretty stoned, drunk, and spaced by that time.

Then a girl came in and joined us, who turned out to be Karen B, who flashed that she knew me from that time at the Center for Continuing Education back in Chicago in February, 1971. She'd gotten close to Brad, while I'd gotten close to Carol B. Once we made that connection, we spent the rest of the evening getting together and rapping.

She told me what she's been into: the University without Walls, Esalen, other classes, Jung. She had just come out here, had been crashing at Marsh and Karen's house, and had just found a place to live (1300 Grove Street).

We rapped a lot about those earlier times, about Brad and her, and the things we were all going through in those days. She seemed a bit down on Brad, said she'd wanted a lot more from him than he'd given, felt he'd evaded her.

I explained the kind of heavy things Brad had been into at the time, and she understood better, I think.

Anyway, we rapped for a long time. She said she'd gotten involved with a number of theological students, and had gone through a lot of changes. We got to be pretty good friends, hugged for a long time before I split, and I told her I'd come see her around 1 o'clock today.

I'm not sure where things are going with us, but I feel we can be pretty close if we both want to.

Today started off overcast, but has gotten sunny just now. My juggling's been going well. I did 223 yesterday, after 213, 185, and 152 on previous days.

Wednesday, March 28, 1973, 9:30 AM

Yesterday was a nice day. I visited Penny around noon, to get a check for the doctor, and went over to Marsh and Karen's around 1. Karen B wasn't there, so I hung around rapping with Marsh and Karen and others, until she arrived around 1:45.

She'd been working in the garden of her new place. We went for a motorcycle ride to John's Soup Kitchen to get something to eat, then to my place to show it to her, then I had to take her home, as I had to go to my doctor's appointment.

We were friendly, but I found myself less drawn to her than the night before, or especially when contrasted to her image of last year, with Brad. I don't know what the matter is, but I'm not sure I'm likely to fall in love with her (nor she with me, for that matter). Anyway, we'll just see what happens. Also with our trip coming up, I'm not sure I want to get involved first.

After dinner, we had our house meeting, and it was a good thing, all in all. We got to talk about things that were bothering people, and this cleared the air pretty much. Nancy and Arlene had begun to feel "excluded" from the house.

Later, Pat, Sheldon, and I went to play pool at Kip's. It was instigated evidently by Mike, who had a date with Liz, and was going to be there with her, and he wanted us there for some reason.

Pat indicated that Mike wants to pull away from Liz, but doesn't know how to do it without hurting her. She's been his first relationship, and the Earth Mother image is appropriate.

After playing pool, we played Pong, which is a far-out computer game.

12:20 Noon

Just came back from my appointment with Dr. Yandell. I expressed a bit of despair that not much is happening with me. I told him I was hoping to put things into better perspective.

We talked about intellectualizing as a defense of mine, that I need to "experience" more my dreams. We talked about my dreams: the house, deteriorated, me not wanting to get involved with it (or sucked back into it). He related it to my trip to Chicago, perhaps. Also, he raised the possibility of my studying in Zurich as something to do, and the possibility sounds interesting.

8:30 PM

Spent this afternoon reading and juggling, after going to the bank, to campus, and stopping at the Med.

After dinner, I went to score some hash, but the guy wasn't home. Visited with Karen for awhile, and sat around as they discussed their restaurant proposal, which they seem to be getting more open to.

Not much happening here. Pat and Mike are in the living room. Aysé and her friends are in the kitchen. Guess I'll read, or maybe smoke some hash with Pat and Mike.

Thursday, March 29, 1973 - 11 AM

Went down and smoked some hash with Mike. Pat didn't want to, and we got into a philosophical discussion that started with the Catholic Church, and got to materialism versus idealism.

Also juggled, and later played some chess with Mike.

My broker called at 8:15 this morning about that letter I'd written. But I was tired and stayed in bed until after 10. Today looks like another nice day.

Penny said she wasn't sure she'd want to go to Chicago after all, as she has so much to do.

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